Lists of the best things in wrestling are fun to write. Lists of the worst things in wrestling are even better. Here is a quick hitter list of the worst wrestling themes of all time and a little bit about what makes each so uniquely horrible!
Worst Wrestling Themes Ever
American Males – American Males
Some themes are so bad they are good. This is one of those themes. Scotty Riggs and Marcus “Buff” Bagwell formed the tag team known as American Males in August 1995 and in doing so many have formed the most 90s tag team of all time.
Short shorts and leather vests were the order of the day as this song combined a truly dreadful chorus with verses that were supposed to put over how great the team was with the ladies, but instead – if you listen closely – give off major creeper vibes.
The coup de grace for this wost wrestling theme is that Riggs and Bagwell would often come to the ring to it while clapping their hands in time as if they were about to sing happy birthday to a child at Red Robin.
Amazingly terrible.
Mr. Ass – I’m an Ass Man
Another 90s classic of a worst wrestling theme is this gem that saw Billy Gunn transform from a Bad Ass into Mr. Ass.
This song is all over the place. Billy not only loves ass, but he also wants to both kick ass and stick ass too. That is a lot of information that is conveyed within the first few lines of a song’s opening chord.
On the plus side for Gunn, this gimmick – as ridiculous as it was – was still miles better than his run as “The One” Billy Gunn.
3. Brie Bella – Beautiful Life
The only theme on this list I have to turn off after two words.
Two words.
BRIE MODE.
No wonder she was a heel.
2. Men on a Mission
If you told me that not a single soul in the WWF (as it was when the team debuted in 1993) had ever heard rap music before then I would buy it.
That statement also goes for the trio of Oscar, Moe, and Mabel, with this unbearable song combined with some of the worst ring gear you will ever see to create a tag team that it was impossible to see getting over.
This wasn’t helped by Mabel’s shortcomings in the ring, nor by his propensity to be unsafe (during this run) and injure far too many people he worked with.
This is more MC Hammer than Public Enemy, with the company seeming to have no real idea what they were trying to push.
1. Steven Regal – A Man’s Man
A theme so bad that Regal was once ribbed with this at a show in Liverpool by a trolling Daniel Bryan (a wrestler Regal famously trained).
Regal – then going by the more commonly known William gimmick as opposed to Steven – was set to wrestle Bryan in front of his adoring home crowd. His much more familiar (and more brooding) theme played, only for the train whistle to hit halfway down the ramp, and “Man’s Man” took over.
It was a genius rib from a gimmick that is insane looking back at it. Just listen to those layered vocals!!
The combination of theme and Titantron video here is my pick for the worst wrestling theme of all time.
Always remember folks. Pro Wrestling is Real.